I confess that, of late, I have been doing some important soul searching.
Of course, the important soul searching I have been doing is not the important soul searching typical of a politician, which so often goes, "After much soul searching, I have decided not to accept the nomination of my party for high public office. My decision is purely a personal one and has nothing at all to do with the recent revelation of my sixteen year extramarital affair."
Nor am I doing the important soul searching typical of a celebrity, which so often goes, "After much soul searching, I have decided to write my memoirs, which shall vitally include a chapter on my sixteen year love affair with a married politician. I consider the chapter a duty to my fans and my decision to go public with my affair has nothing to do with the fact my former lover failed to leave her husband for me."
No, the important soul searching I have been doing is on how I should go about being a better uncle to my three young nephews. And by "better", I mean how I should proceed to better corrupt them.
You see, I have been studying the official role of an uncle in American culture. And it has by no means escaped me that, while parents are there to instill admirable virtues in their offspring, aunts and uncles have the duty to instill admirable vices.
That is, by all rights, it does not fall to your parents to teach you how to make realistic fart sounds. Not, at least, if you have a doting aunt or uncle around to teach you such things. Parents, you see, must teach the rules. But rules are dark and oppressive chains upon the soul if you don't know when and how to stretch -- or perhaps even to break -- them. And that's where aunts and uncles come in.
Ideally, it is your aunt or uncle who slips you your first full glass of wine two or three years before you are of legal age. Or who partners with you in breaking curfew. Or who best appreciates your sense of mischief.
That, at least, is my theory. So, what do you think? Have I not discovered the very gist, the very essence, of what it must necessarily mean to be a great aunt or uncle? Have I not unraveled the mystery of it?
More seriously, what do you think the role of an aunt or uncle really ought to be in their nephews and nieces lives?
Hey, Quit slacking on your important duties! :D
ReplyDeleteMy aunts and uncles perfectly fit that bill. They were the ones who poured beer into our empty Coke cans, and took us trick-or-treating those years our parents piously boycotted.
In addition to the corrupting, duties include being available when the parental relations go south, as they tend to do in teenage and early adult years. Often, we... I mean, those young whippersnappers... need to spread their wings a bit, but still could use a safe haven along the way.
Thanks so much for the encouragement! Not that some may think I need much encouragement when it comes to corrupting youth.
DeletePassing on unconventional wisdom is definitely a role for uncles and aunts. I recently tried to teach them the advantages of being able to fart quietly. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think you've definitely got it close to the mark. Being able to give realistic perspective is something that parents often just can't do because of their roles, so it's only natural for aunts and uncles to step in and show them how to think for themselves, what rules can be bent, etc.
Thanks, TWF! I think you nailed it -- at least a good part of it -- when you mention that parents often just can't provide a realistic perspective because of their roles. It seems to me that, precisely because aunts and uncles are not the final authority figures, they are able to get away with being more realistic -- as well as more mischievous, etc. Does that make sense?
DeleteI would definitely agree with that, Paul. We are kind of the safe stepping stone to the real world; showing them (among other things) that not everybody thinks the same and there are more paths than one. :-)
DeleteBy all means, be a good uncle to your nephews! My heart breaks for all the poor children who have no aunts or uncles to teach them the arts of flatulence, poker, and foreign curse words.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a child, my aunts and uncles lived too far away to do any mischevious mentoring. I did, however, have a beloved grandmother from whom I learned cherished vices, including excessive salt intake, secretive tendencies, and belching.
Thank you for you encouragement, Ahab! We share something in common. When I was young, I had only one aunt who lived near enough to be an influence on me. She taught me more than I realized at the time.
DeleteI failed as a teenage uncle. The only vice I taught was how to over-induldge in Hostess Powdered Sugar Doughnuts. I succeeded as a father by raising a gay tattoo artist son before finally coming out. I am focusing on the children of my nieces and nephews as my second chance in becoming a good uncle.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite an interesting story, Dean! Welcome to my blog! I hope you'll drop by more often.
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